When Women Were Warriors
Book I: The Warrior’s Path
Chapter 14: The Queen’s Mirror
The Lady smiled at me. “Sit down,” she said. She was sitting up in her bed, wrapped in a blanket. Although a fire burned brightly on the hearth, the room was very cold. The Lady’s servant had been combing her hair. It lay loose over her shoulders, dark as a raven’s wing. When I came in, the Lady dismissed her.
I hesitated, unsure of where to sit, until the Lady patted the edge of her bed. When I sat down, she handed me a blanket. I was glad to have it. I had put on two pairs of trousers, my warmest shirt, and a woolen tunic, and I was still cold.
“Your warrior was right,” the Lady said.
“Yes.”
“You never doubted her?”
“I never doubted that she told us the truth,” I said.
“So you never feared that you would pay the price of treachery?”
I didn’t know what to say to her.
“Did you believe I could do you harm?” she asked me gently.
I chose my words carefully. “My warrior told me that people may do a thing when they’re afraid that they wouldn’t do if they thought it over.”
The Lady knit her brows in a troubled frown. “You have nothing to fear from me,” she said.
“Why did you hold me in my warrior’s place?” I was relieved to hear no hint of petulance in my voice. It sounded like the most innocent of questions.
“I couldn’t have kept her locked in the armory week after week. How else could I have held her here?”
The Lady was watching me closely. Perhaps she was trying to learn how I felt about what she’d done, or perhaps she was trying to create in me the feelings that would best suit her.
“Your warrior expected me to ask her to offer her own life as a guarantee,” the Lady said. “Sometimes it’s best not to do what someone expects.”
“I wish you had spoken to me about it afterward.” It was the plain truth, simply said.
The Lady’s face put on an injured look. “You should have come to me with your worries. I would have been glad to ease your fears.”
It was all very well now to say I should have come to her, but at the time I didn’t feel that she would welcome me. I knew it would be unwise to show the anger I still felt toward her or the distrust that came from my anger.
“I thought you would do what was best,” I told her.
She seemed pleased with my answer. The injured look disappeared, and I saw the woman I believed her to be, the woman who would do whatever was necessary for the safety of her people, even if some of her people paid too great a price.
“If there is ever anything you wish to ask me,” the Lady said, “you must not hesitate.”
I nodded.
“Do you have any questions for me now?”
I shook my head. What good would it do me to ask a question when I couldn’t trust the answer? Then I thought of something.
“What will you do with the prisoners?” I asked her.
“The prisoners? What do you think I should do with the prisoners?”
The amusement in her voice told me that she didn’t expect an answer. I gave her one anyway. “I think you should let them go home.”
“Go home? Why would I do that?”
“To show them we have no fear of them.”
“So I should take them to our northern border and turn them loose?”
“Yes.”
“If I were to do such a thing, what guarantee would I have that they will leave us in peace?”
“Give them food to carry with them. Enough to see their families through the winter. Why would they trouble us if they had all they could carry?”
“Should I also give them back their weapons?”
Her words mocked me, but I answered her with sincerity.
“No, Lady,” I said. “That would be foolish.”
“Tell me again why this is a good idea.” This time her voice had less amusement in it and more curiosity.
“Sometimes it’s best not to do what someone expects. Besides, what else can you do with them?”
“I could send them to the mines in exchange for salt or copper.”
“When?”
“Next spring, when the caravans arrive.”
“Then you will have to keep them through the winter.”
“Yes.”
“So you’ll have to feed them anyway. And the men will be unhappy to have the trouble of watching them.”
“It will give the men something to do,” she said.
“And many of the prisoners are in ill health. They may spread disease among us.”
The Lady’s eyes grew dark. “I would be within my rights to kill them all.”
I think she meant to frighten me. I had been frightened enough already. I would not frighten again so easily.
“You could do that,” I said, “but I’ve heard stories about the blood of the slain poisoning the ground. And when their people hear what became of those men, they will be angry.”
“No,” she said. “They will be afraid, and they will leave us alone.”
“If as many of your warriors were taken alive from the battlefield and then put to the sword, what would you feel?”
I saw the answer in her eyes.
“These men have people at home who love them,” I said.
“Yes,” said the Lady. “Just as Eramet had people here who loved her.”
“The man who killed her was defending his friends.” I hoped Sparrow would forgive my speaking for him. I hesitated for just a moment before I said, “He has already lost his hand because of it.”
“What?”
“Has no one told you?”
She said nothing, but her surprise revealed the answer. I wondered why Vintel hadn’t told the Lady what she’d done.
The Lady got up from the bed and went to stand before the fire. For several minutes she was silent, preoccupied with her own thoughts. Then she turned back to me.
“What has your mother told you of the war?”
“That her sisters died,” I said. “And I’ve heard the songs sung about it.”
“The songs are sung to heal our hearts, but they never do. All they do is cause the young to believe that war is a glorious adventure.”
“I never believed it.”
“No,” she said. “I can see you don’t believe it, and that is your mother’s doing.”
I supposed it was. For all my dreams of becoming a warrior, war had never seemed a glorious adventure to me. All my life the shadow of war had lain over my mother’s heart.
“The last thing I want is another war,” the Lady said. “When I was young, I learned the ways of war, but no one taught me how to keep the peace. If anyone knows how to do that, she must be the wisest woman in the world.”
***
A fire roared on the hearth in the great hall. It was the warmest place in the house except for the kitchen, and almost the entire household had gathered there.
I didn’t see Maara at first. I finally found her sitting on a bench in a dark corner. As crowded as the room was, no one was sitting near her. I was not at all surprised. Her arms were folded across her chest, and her face wore a fierce expression. I knew her well enough to know she meant nothing by it, but I understood how she must appear to other people.
“Have you eaten?” I asked her.
She nodded without looking at me.
I’d had no breakfast, and I was hungry.
“I haven’t,” I said. “Shall I go now?”
“Yes, go ahead.”
She sounded impatient with me. Before I could ask her why, I saw Sparrow coming down the stairs. I waved to her, and she saw me and waved back. Maara seemed lost in her own thoughts, so I said nothing more to her and went with Sparrow into the kitchen. We filled our bowls with porridge and sat down on the floor in a corner of the kitchen where we wouldn’t be in the way.
“What did the Lady want?” Sparrow asked me.
“I’m not sure.”
I had a bit of a guilty conscience about speaking for the prisoners. After all, it was Sparrow, not I, who had been injured by them. Though I didn’t believe for a minute that the Lady would consider seriously anything I’d said, I didn’t like to keep what I had done from Sparrow.
“Do you hate the man who killed Eramet?” I asked her.
She had been about to put a spoonful of porridge into her mouth. She stopped and set the spoon down in her bowl.
“Why?” she said.
“I told the Lady what happened to him.”
Sparrow frowned. “Vintel shouldn’t have done that.”
I was surprised to hear her say so. “Why not?”
“Because he was helpless, and because his cry is still ringing in my ears. I wish the man had never been born, but I don’t wish him dead now.”
“Vintel never told the Lady what she did.”
“No, she wouldn’t. Vintel has her own way of doing things, and she sees no need to explain to anyone what she does or why she does it.”
I wondered if Sparrow knew that Vintel and the warriors with her had once failed to protect Maara, and if she knew Vintel well enough to tell me why.
“Why did you tell the Lady about it?” Sparrow asked me.
“I asked her what she was going to do with the prisoners,” I replied. “She asked me what I would do with them, and I told her I would let them go home. She reminded me that one of their warriors had killed one of ours, so I told her the price he had already paid for it.”
I watched Sparrow’s face, to see if she objected to what I’d done, but she only nodded and took a spoonful of porridge.
“Do you think I did wrong?”
Sparrow shook her head. “Did the Lady summon you to ask your advice about the prisoners?” Now she was teasing me.
“No,” I said. “I doubt she’ll pay any attention to my advice.”
“What did she want, then?”
“She asked me if I was frightened.”
“Because she took you hostage?”
I nodded. “She said I had nothing to fear from her.”
“I didn’t think so,” Sparrow said.
“I think she wanted to make sure of me. I think she wanted to draw me close to her again. She wanted to know if I still trust her.”
“Do you?”
Ever since the idea came into my head of leaving the Lady’s household, I was cautious about revealing my thoughts to anyone. I trusted Sparrow, but I knew better than to tell her I was contemplating treachery. I nodded, and it occurred to me that I was lying to Sparrow as much to protect her as to protect myself. It was the same reason Maara had lied to me.
“I don’t believe the Lady ever meant to harm me,” I said. That much was true.
The healer came into the kitchen.
“There you are,” she said, when her eyes found me.
Sparrow and I stood up to greet her.
“I need your help,” she said to me. “One of the prisoners is badly injured. The Lady has asked me to tend him.”
Sparrow and I glanced at each other. I thought I knew which prisoner it was, and I was certain of it when the healer said, “I hope you have a strong stomach.”
“There are some things I need to do,” said Sparrow. She gave me a sympathetic look and left the kitchen.
I helped the healer make a poultice. I set a cloth to soak in sage water while she crushed a collection of herbs in a mortar. She pounded them vigorously, muttering to herself all the while. I think she didn’t care much for the idea of tending strangers.
She laid out the cloth and spread the crushed herbs over it. Then she folded it over several times. She searched through the contents of a basket, drew out a flint knife, and tested its edge. While she was gathering what she needed, I slipped into the drying room and wrapped a generous handful of valerian root in a clean cloth.
***
The men’s house smelled strange to me. I looked around with curiosity. It was half the size of the main house, and the entire downstairs was one large common room. The prisoners were crowded together at the end farthest from the fire. Half a dozen armed men guarded them, though it was hardly necessary. They seemed to have no inclination to resist their captivity. Many of them were asleep on the floor. All of them looked worn out. They had been fed, and scattered around them were empty bowls that had been licked clean. Not a crust of bread remained among them. I saw a few men pick crumbs from their clothing, or even from the floor, and put them into their mouths.
The injured man lay moaning in a corner. He burned with fever and was unaware of us until the healer touched him. Then he threw out his uninjured arm and would have knocked her over if the man beside him had not caught it first.
The healer called for several of the prisoners to come and help her. She motioned to them to hold his arms and legs while she carefully unwrapped the makeshift bandage from his injured arm. The smell turned my stomach. Although I tried not to look, my eyes glanced at his mangled flesh against my will. Some of it was black. The healer took out her flint knife to trim it away.
The man beside him shouted at her and took hold of the hand that held the knife. Two of our warriors had come to stand beside us while we were among the prisoners, and one of them would have struck the man, if the healer hadn’t stopped him. She understood the man’s fear for his friend and showed him by signs what she was going to do. He nodded that he understood. Then she began to trim the injured man’s blackened flesh away. He screamed once and struggled for a moment. Then he grew still.
“Is he dead?” I asked the healer.
“No,” she said. “His spirit left his body for a while, because of the pain.”
I had recovered from my revulsion, and I watched, fascinated, while the healer worked. Now that the man’s spirit had fled, she cut more deeply into his flesh and pulled slivers of broken bone from the wound. Then she freed a flap of skin large enough to cover the raw flesh. She had the wound stitched up and the poultice applied to it before the man’s spirit returned.
“I wish I’d brought something for his pain,” she said.
I reached into the pocket of my tunic and drew out the package of valerian root. She smiled and took it from me.
“You have a healer’s heart,” she said. She took one of the empty bowls from the floor and handed it to me. “Fill this.”
I went to the hearth, where there was a cauldron of hot water. I dipped some into the bowl and took it back to the healer. She showed the injured man’s friend how to measure out the powder in the palm of his hand, so that he didn’t use too much of it. Then she stirred it into the hot water. When it had steeped a while, she gave some to the injured man.
As we left the men’s house, several of our warriors gave us puzzled looks. I didn’t mind. I felt much better about everything.
***
That evening, when the household gathered for the evening meal, the Lady rose from her place at the high table and stood patiently until the hall was quiet. She gave no introduction. She spoke plainly what was in her mind.
“There are many here who remember the war.”
She paused to look around the room at the faces of the people. The young ones waited expectantly for her to go on, but the ones with wrinkled faces and grey showing at their temples grew solemn at her words.
“For the first time in many years,” the Lady said, “strangers have set foot upon our land. They have come, not because we have done them an injury or because they seek adventure, but because they are hungry.”
A few puzzled looks appeared on the faces around me.
“Today I was reminded of a story my mother used to tell me. I’m sure you have all heard it. It is sometimes called ‘The Queen’s Mirror,’ and it contains a wisdom I’d forgotten. After I thought about that story for a while, I called together the women of the council. They agree with me that we should allow the strangers to return to their homeland.”
The Lady waited for the protests she evidently expected, but no one said a word. I think everyone was too surprised to speak.
“Out of the bounty the Mother has given us this year,” she said, “I will send with them two dozen of our cattle and all the grain they can carry.”
I hardly saw the stunned faces of the people around me. I was too stunned myself to see them. I couldn’t comprehend what I had done. Letting the prisoners go was an idea that had just come into my head. Now it had become real. Now it was going to happen.
“I wish I could explain to you the wisdom of this plan,” the Lady said. “I can’t. But one thing I do know. If these men are lost, more will take their place. Then they will come, not for food alone, but also to avenge their dead, and they will take our blood to ease their hearts.”
The Lady paused for a few moments to study the faces around her. I think she was surprised that the silence still remained unbroken.
“There is one thing more we must decide,” she said. “We have lost one of our own. Those to whom she belonged have a right to ease their hearts with blood. I want any person here who feels that injury to tell me now, will you give up that right or will you demand a life?”
Namet, who sat next to her, stood up. “I give up my right,” she said.
The Lady looked around the room until her eyes found Sparrow, who was sitting next to me at the companions’ table.
Sparrow stood up and said, “I give up my right.”
The Lady’s eyes went next to Vintel, who sat gazing into her bowl, as if she was thinking only of her supper.
“Vintel,” the Lady said at last. “Do you give up your right?”
Vintel looked up. “Eramet did not belong to me,” she said.
Although there was no longer a formal bond between them, Eramet had been Vintel’s apprentice. From what Sparrow had told me, I knew there was still a bond of love between them, and from Vintel’s actions at the river, it was plain that she felt the injury keenly, whether or not she claimed her right to feel it.
Vintel said nothing more.
“Then we are agreed,” the Lady said.
She sat down and motioned to the servants to bring the evening meal.
***
The companions had little to say about the Lady’s plan. They were surprised, but what happened to the prisoners was the Lady’s responsibility, and they only shrugged their shoulders and went on to talk about things they found more interesting. I looked around the room and saw doubt in many faces. Some of the older people clearly had misgivings. A few spoke quietly among themselves. Perhaps they would protest privately to the Lady, but none of them would challenge her in front of the household, especially as she had the consent of the council. Sparrow leaned close to me and whispered, “I’ll be sleeping in the companions’ loft tonight.” I nodded. “Are you still sleeping in your warrior’s room?” “Yes,” I said. “Too bad. I’ll miss you.” I blushed. “That’s all right,” she said. “I understand.”
***
After the evening meal, Maara went upstairs. I followed her, and from the landing at the top of the stairs, I saw her stop in the doorway of Namet’s room. She said a few words I couldn’t hear, then went on into her own room. When I joined her, she was coiling the braided thong around her fingers.
“I suppose we don’t need this now,” she said, and handed the coiled thong to me.
As I took it from her, I felt a pang of regret.
“Do you know the story?” she asked me.
“What story?”
“The story the Lady was talking about.”
I nodded. “I was the one who reminded her of it.”
“I thought so,” she said. “The Lady told me her plan was your idea.”
“She did?”
“She spoke to me this afternoon. She seems to think I know all about these people.”
“Don’t you?”
“I have some knowledge of the northern tribes, but I don’t believe these men are northerners, although I think they have been used by them.”
“What did the Lady say to you?”
“She asked me what I thought of your idea.”
“I never thought she’d pay any attention to my idea. What if it’s a mistake? What if they come back and do us harm?”
“The Lady must bear the responsibility for that,” she said. “The Lady and the council. It was their decision.”
“But it was my idea.”
“It was a good idea. What made you think of it?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “They just didn’t seem that dangerous to me.”
“They are very dangerous, but your plan will make them much less so.”
Her approval reassured me. All the same, I resolved not to be so quick to open my mouth the next time someone asked me for advice.
Maara settled herself on her bed. “Tell me the story,” she said.
In ancient days, when only women were warriors, lived a race of magicians and sorcerers who wielded great power. To defeat their enemies, they had no need to resort to arms. Their seers saw from afar any army that marched against them, and their sorcerers wrapped their lands in a mist in which their enemies would wander, lost and afraid.
But when strangers came in peace, the people made a feast for them. Venison from their forests and game birds from their meadows filled the bellies of their guests. Then singers and poets and musicians entertained them, until, overcome by these delights, they closed their eyes and slept. When they awoke, they would find themselves encamped on the borders of the lands from which they’d come, and by each of them would be a gift according to the deepest wish of each one’s heart.
In a far country lived a queen whose lands were rich and prosperous and whose people never lacked for any of life’s necessities or comforts. Her own wealth was great. She ate from golden dishes and drank from silver goblets. Around her she kept things of beauty, so many that she never wanted for something to delight the eye. She too had musicians to fill her ears with sweet sounds and poets to fill her heart with stories of love and war.
One day a woman and her two daughters came to the queen’s household. They asked for hospitality and were made welcome. The queen invited them to dine with her. She served them the best she had to give. Meat and bread and fruit and wine she offered them. After they had eaten their fill, the queen had her musicians and her storytellers entertain them. When her guests grew sleepy, she showed them to a room in which there was a soft bed for each of them and bade them each good night.
In the morning the queen and her guests broke their fast together. Before they left her to continue their journey, the woman and her daughters thanked the queen and praised her generosity, saying that with only one exception they had never enjoyed such hospitality anywhere.
The queen wished to know whose hospitality surpassed her own. Her guests assured her that none but a mysterious race of magical people could rival her. They told her of the strange land that vanished from the sight of those who intended to do harm, but whose people practiced the greatest generosity toward all who came in friendship. They told her of the wonders they had seen there, and they showed her the gifts they had been given. The elder daughter had received a sword. The younger had received a bow and a quiver of arrows. Both of these weapons were enchanted, for the sword moved on its own and would prevail over the most skilled opponent, while the arrows never failed to find their target. Their mother had been given only a dream, but she was the most pleased with her gift, because the dream promised that her wish for grandchildren would come true.
The queen asked her guests where she could find this enchanted land.
“Follow the setting sun,” they told her. “It is farther than you can imagine, but nearer than your heart’s desire.”
After her guests had gone, the queen thought about what they had told her of the land of sorcerers. She saw that she could spare her people much grief in time of war if her warriors possessed enchanted weapons. And if dreams that could foretell the future were within the gift of these magicians, any threat to her people could be foreseen and perhaps forestalled.
The queen had her servants make preparations for a long journey. Then she called together the warriors of her household. She told them of the enchanted land and asked which of them would accompany her there. All of them were eager to go with her, and the next day they began their journey.
They traveled for many days, until they came to the land of which they had heard such wonderful tales. They were invited to a feast, and it was all they could have wished. Dishes were served to them that they had never before tasted, and sweet wine was given them to drink. Songs were sung and stories told that spoke to each of them and brought back into memory the enchanted tales of childhood and the heroic deeds of youth. When their hearts were so full that they could listen no more, they fell asleep. In the morning they awoke on the border of the queen’s own lands, and each of them had received a gift. Although there were no enchanted weapons among them, each one was delighted with the gift she had been given.
The queen’s gift was a mirror of polished silver set in a golden frame. When she looked into it, she saw a faithful image of herself reflected back. The queen was not pleased with her gift, for she already possessed mirrors just as fine. She asked her warriors to show her what they had received, and not one of them had been given an enchanted sword or bow. None had had a vision of the future or any other thing the queen had hoped for.
When she thought of the long journey they had made with so little to show for it, the queen almost regretted having gone at all, but her warriors were happy with their gifts, and it had been a good adventure, so she hung the mirror upon the wall of her private chamber, to remind her of her own foolishness.
The next year the queen’s daughter wished to marry. She had come to care for a man who cared very much for her, although he had little else to offer her. The queen wanted a better alliance for her daughter, and she refused to consent to the marriage. When next she passed by the golden mirror, she thought she saw, out of the corner of her eye, not the familiar features of her own face, but the beaked face and the cold eye of a bird of prey. When she stopped and looked again, her own familiar face looked back at her.
Not long afterward, a neighbor with whom the queen had had a long alliance asked to share in the bounty of one of the queen’s forests. The forest lay far from the queen’s household, and her people seldom hunted there. Nevertheless it had belonged to her family for many generations, and she was reluctant to allow others to hunt there, lest they come to regard the forest as their own. The queen refused the request, but she sent a gift of game to her neighbor’s household, to lessen the sting of her refusal.
That evening, when she prepared for bed, the queen caught a glimpse of the golden mirror. She thought she saw within it the image of a bear, its belly full, standing over the body of a deer, unable to eat more but unwilling to allow another bear to eat. When the queen turned again to the mirror, she saw only her own familiar face.
The following year an army marched against the queen. She sent her warriors out to meet it, and they fought well, but in the end neither side could prevail against the other. She called upon her neighbor to send warriors to her aid. Her neighbor refused her request but sent a dozen fine swords back to her, to lessen the sting of her refusal.
Knowing that she was not strong enough to drive the invaders out, the queen offered to come to terms with them. They sent a young man to speak with her, the very man her daughter had wished to marry. He asked for gifts of grain and cattle and swore that she would then be left in peace. That much the queen was prepared to give, but he asked also for her daughter, and to that request the queen would not consent. They talked long into the night without coming to an agreement, so the queen offered him her hospitality, and he accepted.
Late that night, as she prepared for bed, the queen conceived a plan. She convinced herself that the young man had dishonored her daughter by asking for her as if she were no more than property, and that this dishonor released the queen from the obligations of hospitality.
As she turned her treacherous plan over in her mind, a flash of light flew out of the golden mirror. It blinded her for a moment, and she shielded her eyes against it. When her sight returned, she looked into the mirror and beheld the image of her home and all her lands on fire. She rubbed her eyes and looked again, but the mirror reflected back to her only her own familiar face.
The queen thought about the vision the mirror had shown her, until at last she convinced herself that the flash of light must have been only the reflection of a momentary flare of torchlight and the images of fire the product of her own imagination. She gazed again into the mirror, but she saw nothing more to alarm her.
The next day the queen met with the young man again. This time she consented to the marriage. She asked that the wedding take place within her household on the following day, and she invited all the warriors of the invading army to attend it. Protected, as he thought, from treachery because he was her guest, the young man came the next day to be married, bringing with him the warriors of the invading army. The queen’s warriors, who were unarmed, met them and made them welcome. They invited their guests to relieve themselves of the weight of their own weapons, and this they did.
The wedding took place, and the feast began. When their guests were in their cups, the queen’s warriors took up their arms from where they had been hidden in the hall. The wedding guests fought back, but they were quickly overpowered, and every one of them was put to the sword. The floor of the hall was covered in their blood. It ran out the door of the house and soaked into the earth and still more blood flowed. It ran like water over the queen’s rich farmlands and through her forests and into her lakes and streams and rivers. Then a flame sprang up from the heart of the dying man who loved the queen’s daughter, and the blood began to burn. The fire spread in all directions, even to the crops in the fields and to the trees in the forests. Flames danced upon the water in the lakes and streams. When it reached the borders of the queen’s lands, the fire spread no farther.
When she saw her home and her lands on fire, the queen remembered the vision in the mirror. She ran to her bedchamber to look within it one last time. She saw her own familiar face reflected back to her, and as she watched, the flesh softened and fell away, until in the enchanted mirror she saw the face of death.
For a hundred years, nothing would live in the land that had once been the queen’s. No crops would sprout; no trees would grow. Fish would not spawn in the lakes or streams. Animals would not thrive there. No child would be born there. No living thing dwelt in that place again until the queen’s name had been forgotten.
“I think I’m beginning to understand your stories,” said Maara.
“Maybe you could tell me what it means, then.”
The story troubled me. When I mentioned it to the Lady, I was thinking only of the part about the blood of the slain, of those whom the queen’s warriors had murdered. I had forgotten there was so much more than that in it.
“How had the queen received her heart’s desire when she received the mirror?” Maara asked me.
“She didn’t understand its power,” I replied. “She wanted dreams that would foretell the future, but she failed to read the future in her own face.”
“If the Lady had such a mirror, would she have the wisdom to use it well, do you think?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “The Lady is clever, but I’m no judge of wisdom.”
Maara’s eyes held mine. She had a strange expression on her face, as if she was seeing something unexpected.
“The Lady may well have such a mirror,” she said.
Copyright © Catherine M. Wilson
